You might not think you're brave, but you are to me

 So many of you have probably seen the video doing the rounds on Facebook of a woman chasing a racist attacker down Upton Park tube station platform after the man punched another passenger in the face. A man has since been arrested and bailed until November 14th on charges of “assault occasioning ABH and using threatening / abusive words / behaviour or disorderly behaviour likely to cause harassment, alarm or distress”. This has definitely struck a chord with me, given that it's been just over two years since I was attacked for standing up in a similar incident, getting a nasty injury to my shoulder after standing up to a man sexually harassing a teenage girl.

 Now the title of this post may seem a bit odd but bare with me. After my experience I had friends and family telling me how brave I was. I remember the worst part of the night was for ours, ringing and ringing my parents and not getting an answer from either of them. But I definitely didn't feel brave, I felt like a stupid child who had tried to do something good, but then fallen over and scraped my knee; like I'd made things worse. 

 Luckily the woman in this incident wasn't harmed (as far as we know) and that has been the biggest relief for me in seeing this. And at the same time I can relate so much to her. Being surrounded by men, bigger and stronger than she is, sitting by and doing nothing while the man sat next to her is verbally abused before he is punched. There were so many others who could have intervened but didn't, it was left to her to stand up. I'm by no means saying that she isn't capable of standing up for herself and others - she clearly demonstrates the opposite! - but it put her at greater risk than it would have for others. It was an incredibly brave thing for her to do. But that's the thing with brave women, we don't always feel it. We feel like we're just doing what any other person would have done, and not want a fuss made.

 Personally I think this needs to change; we need to recognise women that stand up, putting themselves in danger, do help others. It's important. In fact I've been thinking that if anybody knows who this woman is I would like to get her flowers - or something else that she may need and find more practical. It's important that she knows that people admire her bravery, and others who have done what she did are thinking of her. We did the same thing with the Buy Gary a Pint fund for making a very fitting gesture behind Nigel Farage on the news, so how about we try and get some similar support for a brave woman?

A Belated Happy 2016...and smashin' those Gender Norms (TL,DR: getting a bloke flowers)

 Happy New Year dear readers! We're only what, two weeks into it so this is quite good timing for me. I've been trying my best to keep busy around the house so for once it's in a fantastic state, I'm rather proud of myself. Depressions and anxiety can really get in the way of keeping your living space tidy, you don't want to get out of bed let alone do anything productive yet at the same time you panic about getting everything done, what people will think of the state of your home, how miserable it's making you being in such an untidy environment...it's a vicious cycle. But since New Year I've felt fantastic, staying on an up-spell for a whole fortnight does come with the panic of "when will I be back to being miserable? oh dear, oh dear", but I'm doing my best not to think that way and just enjoy the positivity. It's the happiest I've felt in about six months.

Clear house, clear head!

 Now, down to business...

 My relationship seems to be the best it's been for a while too, probably to do with me feeling better about myself; I love Paul unbelievably but I'm sure many of you with similar conditions also find it hard to appreciate your partner when you feel awful about yourself, and generally feeling not much fun to be around. So since I've been feeling better about myself I've started putting more work into my relationship. It got me thinking too: What little romantic gestures would really make me smile? Then it hit me.

 I've only gotten flowers twice in my life, once from my Dad and once from Paul after he scared me; we'd just gotten the landline installed and he rang up after he finished work, putting on a creepy Gollum voice. It really freaked me out and I may have cried a little bit, so I rang his mobile in hysterics to tell him about the creepy guy that'd just been on the phone. Bad Paulo! But these were totally unprompted, no scaring involved, and I made a cute little card later in the week which I slipped into his jacket pocket before he left for work the next morning. 

 It can be hard to keep a relationship fresh after nearly five years. You can both get a bit lazy, it's something Paul and I are both guilty of but we're both working to turn that around. We're working on having at least one night a week just for the two of us, sort of a date night. Simplicity is a good starting point too, a hug and a 'how was your day?' to a coffee and a cuddle and small acts that build towards bigger things and keep that bond strong.

 Now, going back to the flowers. Out of interest I thought I'd google "getting a guy flowers", just to see what the current status-quo consensus on it is. Two of the top results were 'What gifts for men are equivalent to flowers for women?' on Reddit and 'Help! What's The Man-Friendly Equivalent of Sending Flowers?' from Glamour.com, containing the quote "Of course you can send guys flowers, but I just feel like they don’t appreciate them the way the ladies do." and a link to a delightful sounding article titled "Want to Know What Blow Jobs and Flowers Have in Common?. To save your poor face from the palming it would get I've read the second article for you: apparently you're not allowed to ask for either. *pause here to make a cuppa and calm down/shout to your partner/housemate/pet about how stupid this is*. 

 Just NO! No on all of those fronts. The look on Paul's face when I gave him the flowers was one of gratitude. Other articles I've looked at seem to say that the only acceptable time to send a man flowers is as a Get Well Soon or other non-romantic gesture, why?? They look nice, they smell nice, they really brighten up a room and draw the eye away from any clutter lying around. If a guy likes flowers why not send them? There's nothing 'feminine' about things that look or smell nice, and even if there was then what's wrong with feminine things!? It doesn't make them weak or soppy, in my eyes if you dismiss and dislike something on the grounds that it's feminine then you really don't have much respect for women.

 And as for asking I don't see what's wrong with that either, I asked Paul if he'd maybe get me flowers sometime and he asked the same from me - reciprocation is necessary in relationships! How else will you know what your partner likes?

 And yes, please apply the above advice to blow jobs too.


UPDATE:

 Just thought I'd include this as proof that I'm not putting words in Paul's mouth ;)

 And I'm very angry at this God bloke at the minute too, he really needs to work on his aim. He can't keep going after every 69 year old until he gets Trump. He better stay the hell away from Tim Curry! RIP Alan Rickman <3