Reawakening... (aka the North East 2018 Feminist Calender)

 Well hello there folks, it's been a while. It looks like there may be some changes ahead. Calamity Kitchen have finaly gotten their own website (bloody freeloaders), Angry Northern Bitch is on Twitter, I've had a proper job job: yes dear readers, I worked at Lush for two months, keep your knickers on. Stormageddon turned four, and SlutWalk 2018 will be taking place in Newcastle.

 Wait... what!?

 Yes, you read that right: after a five year hiatus there will in fact be a SlutWalk Newcastle 2018. SlutWalk Newcastle last held a march in 2013 alongside a wonderful comedy night called Stand Up to Sexism, organised by myself and the incredible Rachel Charlton-Dailey from The Nopebook. Long story short: we had a march with lots of shouty, angry folk with important things to say, it's a lovely protest, and afterwards we held a comedy show with an all women line-up at World Headquarters. Of course, like with any event which focuses on talented women, we had plenty of comments and messages telling us we were sexist for not having men on stage, that we were exclusionary, feminazis etc - despite telling our critics many times that if they were really so worried about genderbalancing in standup comedy then why aren't they protesting other local comedy comedy nights like...every week?

 Oddly enough there were no reports of protests outside of comedy venues about the lack of women on the bill that I heard of, but if there were then I've missed out on some fun. Anyway, it was an amazing night and we raised a good amount of money for Rape Crisis Tyneside and Northumberland. Again, we're hoping to organise an evening event to go with the SlutWalk for those who won't be able to make the march on the daytime. Either way, I'll keep you lovely people up to date. I took part in a Firewalk for RCTN back in March 2017 and fully intend to do so again if they're running another this year. It was so much fun for an amazing cause and the brilliant staff at RCTN were insrumental in giving me the confidence to set up SlutWalk Newcastle to begin with.


 After a fantastic Nasty Women New Year party last weekend we floated around the idea of holding a Colour Walk in Newcastle. We have so many fabulous older ladies in the region that it would be a terrible shame to not celebrate them. Again, as a complimentary event, there are whisperings of a fashion show for those who wouldn't be able to make a daytime affair. We'll be keeping you up to date from here and from Nasty Women North East.

 So yeah, kind of short and sweet (like me!), with all the good news though you've got plenty of fun to look forward to. Much Love!

Angry Bitch x

Street Harassment: A Short But Sweet Insight

So in the past twelve days I have been catcalled or otherwise harassed on the street I live on. Given that it's the main street of Heaton, you can account for more footfall, more people passing through etc, therefore more wankers passing through but in less than a fortnight I'm starting to feel less safe in my own community. I have called Heaton my home for almost five years now and I'm not going to let dickheads make me feel unsafe on my own streets.

The first, believe it or not, was a bloke pushing a pram telling me to get my tits out. Given that his kid was of toddling and talking age I can just imagine their child going back to nursery next week, the staff asking if he enjoyed the holidays and him going "yes...get your tits out!". Some top-notch parenting there.

 The second was last Friday, the day after I'd truly earned my Darwin Award by stabbing myself in the leg while loading the dishwasher. So limping, full of stitches and painkillers, and generally feeling sorry for myself, I had a wander up to Boots for some more dressings and ibuprofen. I stopped in at a few charity shops on the way - notably the Newcastle Dog and Cat Shelter shop on Chillingham Road, awesome prices, nice stuff and they do wonderful work - and I found some lovely bits and pieces, three dresses and a top for a tenner! So feeling nice and perky, I was walking home and I'm stopped by three knobheads in a shitty corsa. The guy in the passenger seat goes with the ever original "oi oi sexy!", and when I tell him to go fuck himself him and his mates thought they'd be big and clever and go "oooOOOoooOohh!" in that patronising way, you know the one I mean. And because these geniuses are stuck at the traffic lights, what's a girl to do? So I went and kicked the bastards car. It was just sat there being all shiny and provocative with three idiots inside! Who could resist!?

 Today was a double-whammy. I was walking home from the shop and some prick thinks he's big and clever and makes kissy noises at me; and when I turn to do a double take he grabs his crotch. Mate, given that your hands looked smaller than Trump's, I wouldn't go comparing them to your dick as a scale, they'll just make you think it's big.

 Then tonight I was out doing some Pokémon hunting, there was a Bayleef at the corner shop! And some bloke going into the chippy asks me "how much?" with one of those sickening eyebrow-wriggles and a smirk you just want to remove from his face with sandpaper.  I was wearing my pimp coat (big, fluffy leopard print one that I love), polka-dot playsuit, over-the-knee-socks, and Docs. But why should it matter what I was wearing? So, unable to think of a witty comeback on the spot and having finished my cigarette, I throw the end at him. Consider it up-cycling - of him, not the tab end. He went from being human garbage to an ash tray with a pulse.

 It might seem like an overreaction but... I don't give a shit. I'm sick of the men who think this behavior is okay. When I told Paul when I got home he said "if I ever thought speaking to lasses like that was okay then my Mam would knock my block off." And so she should! In fact I would love to see a reality TV programme where men have to read out the shitty things they say to women they don't know to their mothers. Then the mothers are given a score out of ten for how well they kick the shit out of their sons. Hey, it's more educational than Keeping up with the Kardashians.

 And for any whiny "ugh, stop complaining and get a life" folk out there, this is my life. And the lived experience of almost every other woman I've ever met ever. And they need to learn to not be shitty.

 So when I was discussing this with my lovely friend Becky at the weekend we came up with a brilliant idea: stickers. Industrial strength stickers. To put on the vehicles or general person of men who think it's big and clever to catcall. Stickers so sticky that they'll have to pay for it to be removed professionally or wreck whatever it was stuck to by peeling it off. It can be their penance and punishment for being so shitty to women. Big, fuck-off sticky stickers that say "I'm a misogynist, do not approach!". Yeah...

So yes, this ended up a little longer than intended but I can't think of another title. And I'm sick of shitty men.

TL,DR: men, stop being shitty.

Not a Bitch to be messed with 😘