Smashing the Patriarchy... But I want to keep this bit

 Yo readers, it's been a while. To follow up from my last post, where I was lying in my bath at 3 in the morning convinced I was dying because of medication withdrawal... As you probably guessed I didn't die - hooray! - yes, I'm glad too. But it was a pretty horrible experience. Tonight I'm starting a similar medication instead of that one, so understandably I'm a little anxious. So I thought I'd wrack my brains for something I'd wanted to write about ages ago to take my mind off of the anxiety. Anyway, here goes.

 Long-time readers will know that this started out as a wedding blog, My Big Fat Feminist Wedding. As a throwback to this blog's roots then, I thought I'd share a ridiculous, sappy piece because - fuck everything else - it's something to keep me distracted.

 While I was younger I didn't always picture myself getting married, I was pretty torn on the issue. Long story short, I am getting married, and I couldn't be happier. But after I got engaged I started thinking what in the 21st century could be considered 'classic' traditions; not always observed but still mentioned and/or joked about. Like the groom throwing the bride's garter etc. Three years ago I posted about the petition to get the mother's name on marriage certificates. And while it's yet to come into action it's another detail which shows us that marriage is an innately patriarchal institution. But we can always change this. My plan is for my mother to walk me down the aisle along with my father, not because they own me or I'm 'their property' to give away but because hell, they did a damn good job bringing me up and they should be allowed to show off what a good job they did to friends and family (if I do say so myself). Plus I'm a little iffy in front of lots of people so it'll be nice to have some buffers. 

 Getting to the point, one thing I've been asked a fair bit about. Several people have said "oh, you're a raging feminist type, you'll never do this". Then they've always been surprised when I've said it's something I've wanted to keep. 

 I want to have a dance with my Daddybear at my wedding.

 Yep, it doesn't sound totally ridiculous written down. But some people have questioned me for it. It's it prioritising him over your Mam? Patriarchy, blah blah? He's too short for you to dance with! 

 Let me answer those in reverse: I'll bring shoes especially for it, his height is however an endless source of amusement. Patriarchy... Not exactly, not if I'm choosing to do it. And as I know my mother so well I know that she can be quite shy, and me dragging her up in front of hundreds of people, all looking at her, could be pretty nightmarish for her. Dad on the other hand... Well, he's the one that I got the "I don't give a fuck" gene from. Plus, given the fact that I'm the one who proposed to my husband-to-be, he's having two best women, and I have a bridesbee, we're not exactly sticking to the gender norms.

 I've always had a good relationship with my Dad. Sure, we had the typical teenageer-parent troubles, lots of shouting and screaming, "you're a dick, you're a dick" "you're grounded" etc. But at the same time he nurtured my love of good music, good books, and history. Without him doing this, as well as not hiding politics from me, I doubt I'd be as tuned-in as I am; or at least I probably would be doing a Sociology degree. And given how gregarious and outgoing he is I don't think he's pass up an opportunity to show me up in front of friends and family!! And I wouldn't want it any other way.

Petition: Mothers' names should be on marriage certificates alongside fathers.

Hello lovely readers!

  Wow it's been a while, I do apologies. I've had three weeks of essays and exams and it has honestly been the longest three weeks of my life. I've had time for nothing else between uni work and work, at one point I thought sleep was the only tangible think I was able to cut out. Needless to say I celebrated finishing my first year by having a nap... At work I'm on an "Up to 45 hours contract" - which is essentially a fancy word for a zero-hours contract, where I'm guaranteed anywhere between zero and 45 hours. Luckily my hours are more or less fixed, but it's still very tiring. Heavy lifting, long hours, running around like a blue-arsed fly. Still! Now I've got plenty of free time for feministing and seeing friends, I feel like I've rejoined the human race!

 Anyway, a friend of mine shared this petition last week and I'm glad I became aware of it. My mam and aunty have done a lot of research into their family history and marriage certificates proved useless for finding out anything about other women in the family. Considering many of these women raised large families, as well as working tirelessly to provide for them, I think they deserve a lot more recognition than they get.

 In the 20th and 21st centuries we have already made great gains towards equality in terms of legislation, the Equal Pay Act 1970, followed by the 2010 Equality Act, the 1991 Marital Rape Act (1991 - how did it take so long??) and many more. Women are still systematically left out if history and in 2014 it is ridiculous to think this still goes on.

 By just using the fathers' names and occupations it also makes it look as though marriage is a transaction between the bride and groom's fathers. The last time I checked I wasn't a prized farm animal there as a bartering tool. Our marriage is between me and my fiancé, it isn't a business transaction. I love my parents and my out-laws very much, our mothers however were the ones who did the most bringing us up and surely they deserve the recognition for it?

 So please, lend your voice to a good cause and sign the petition HERE!